Life Is A Lemon And I Want My Money Back

Life Is A Lemon and I Want My Money Back





1. The Shins - Australia
2. The Hives - Two-timing Touch and Broken Bones
3. The Living End - One Said To The Other
4. Fall Out Boy - Save Your Generation
5. Archers of Loaf - Plumb Line
6. The Pillows - Runner's High (FLCL version)
7. The Spill Canvas - The Tide
8. The Thermals - I Might Need You To Kill
9. From First to Last - World War Me
10. Justin Timberlake - Sexy Ladies/Let Me Talk To You
11. Tapes n Tapes - Cowbell
12. Meatloaf - Life Is A Lemon and I Want My Money Back
13. Something Corporate - Space
14. Third Eye Blind - Danger
15. B-52s - Strobe Light
16. The Replacements - Left of the Dial
17. Statistics - Hours Seemed Like Days
18. Matthew Sweet - The Ugly Truth
19. Lindsay Lohan - A Little More Personal
20. The Black Keys - Your Touch
21. Helmet - Exactly What You Wanted
22. Pearl Jam - Comatose
23. Dashboard Confessional - Reason to Believe

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Don't Ask Me

Keeping in line with this week's theme of "no comments" ...



Don't Ask Me



1. + 44 - Lycanthrope
2. The Arcade Fire - Keep The Car Running
3. Bloc Party - Hunting For Witches
4. Buzzcocks - Ever Fallen In Love...?
5. Cold War Kids - Hang Me Up To Dry
6. Dinosaur Jr - Almost Ready
7. Gogol Bordello - 60 Revolutions
8. HelloGoodbye - All Time Lows
9. The Killers - Sams Town
10. Lifter Puller - Secret Santa Cruz
11. Modest Mouse - Fire It Up
12. My Chemical Romance - Mama
13. OK Go - Don't Ask Me
14. The Pipettes - It Hurts To See You Dance So Well
15. The Rakes - Trouble
16. The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - In Fate's Hands
17. Regina Spektor - That Time
18. Self - Cinderblocks For Shoes
19. Silversun Pickups - Little Lover's So Polite
20. Social Distortion - Through These Eyes
21. Sparta - Red.Right.Return (Straight Into Our Hands)
22. TV On The Radio - Hours
23. Zebrahead - Rescue Me

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Sick Sad World

Tape 1 of 2 this week

I'm not doing commentary for this week, you can email me questions about the tracks at my Gmail address...



Sick Sad World



1. Wolf Parade - You Are A Runner And I Am My Father's Son
2. Cascada - Every Time We Touch
3. Elastica - Your Arse My Place4. The Killers - Change Your Mind
5. Guided by Voices - Postal Blowfish (live)
6. Baby Chaos - Golden Tooth
7. Boris - Woman on the Screen
8. Queens of the Stone Age - Sick Sick Sick
9. Death From Above 1979 - Romantic Rights
10. The Donnas - Don't Wait Up For Me
11. Radiohead - 15 Steps
12. Butterfly Boucher - Busy
13. Beth Gibbons and Rustin Man - Tom The Model
14. Serj Tankian - Empty Walls
15. Britney Spears - Freakshow
16. Clutch - A Shogun Named Marcus
17. Chris Walla - The Score
18. Against Me! - Up The Cuts
19. Muscles - Jerk
20. The D4 - Get Loose
21. Patti Smith - Free Money
22. Division of Laura Lee - Does Compute
23. Vampire Weekend - A-Punk
24. Azure Ray - We Are Mice
25. Dirty Projectors - Spray Paint (The Walls)
26. American Football - The One With The Wurlitzer

CLICK HERE FOR ZE DOWNLOAD.

Live Till You Die

2nd mix this week and it's an older one that I pulled out of the archives (read : my car).

Tons of great music here, some stuff that has been on a Weekend tape before and some that hasn't.


Live Till You Die
1. Stars - "Ageless Beauty"
2. Bran Van 3000 - "Rainshine"
3. Bloc Party - "Helicopter"
4. The Notwist - "Pick Up The Phone"
5. Me First and The Gimme Gimmes - "Where Do Broken Hearts Go?"
6. Rilo Kiley - "Wires and Waves"
7. Mike Doughty - "The Only Answer"
8. The Mountain Goats - "Dilaudid"
9. Metric - "The Twist"
10. Bear vs. Shark - "Entrace Of The Elected"
11. Head Automatica - "Beating Heart Baby"
12. The Strokes - "You Talk Way Too Much"
13. Kings of Leon - "King of The Rodeo"
14. Jimmy Eat World - "Call It In The Air"
15. Moby - "Raining Again"
16. Morphine - "So Many Ways"
17. Nick Cave (feat. PJ Harvey) - "Henry Lee"
18. Hot Hot Heat - "Dirty Mouth"
19. Violent Femmes - "Prove My Love"
20. Superdrag - "Drag Me Closer To You"
21. Cursive - "Bloody Murder"
22. The Get-Up Kids - "No Love"
23. Queens Of The Stone Age - "In The Fade"

So yeah.

DOWNLOAD HERE.

Stars are Canadian, which in indie-rock terms means they sing pretty, well-orchestrated, epic songs about life and its many facets. Their album Set Yourself On Fire and the follow-up, In Our Bedroom After The War, are beautiful, heartbreaking albums.

Hip-hop/funk collective Bran Van 3000 had a medium sized hit with their album Glee, but their second record, Discosis didn't fare so well. It's a shame, because they craft these strange little gems (like the pop song with Jamaican scat "Rainshine") that are scattered throughout their records.

Bloc Party came out swinging with their debut Silent Alarms. Part of the new-new-wave coming out of the UK this past couple of years, they manage to sold old-school and new at the same time. The hypnotic guitar line of "Helicopter" alone is worth the cost of admission.

Neon Golden, the album from The Notwist, is full of glitchy pop anthems like "Pick Up The Phone" - proving Radiohead don't have the patent on this type of technical, paranoid music.

Some songs sound way better done at a double-fast pace with gritty punk vocals. Thank the Gods we have bands like Me First and the Gimme Gimmes. In this case, it's Mariah Carey getting the MFATGG treatment with the song "Where Do Broken Hearts Go?" off the Gimmies album Take A Break.

Young Jenny Lewis didn't quite know what she started when the first Rilo Kiley album, Takeoffs and Landings, came out. "Waves and Wires" is a fine introduction to the RK style, all alt-country twiddling and lyrical barbs with hints of rock straining at the corners.

I have to confess a deep love for Mike Doughty. His first post-Soul Coughing album, Skittish, remains in heavy rotation around my house. Maybe it's the haphazard production, the jerky guitar or the trademark M Doughty lyrics - all of which are present in "The Only Answer".

Singer-songwriter John Darnelle, who goes under the name The Mountain Goats, shows up here doing his best "Eleanor Rigby" impression on "Dilaudad" from the album The Sunset Tree. That record is the brutal exhumation of all his feelings about growing up with an abusive stepfather and it remains one of Darnelle's finest moments.

Emily Haines, lead singer of Metric, is also Canadian. But don't let that scare you. Her songs tend towards the funky, punky edge of pop. This song, "The Twist" comes from the first Metric album Grow Up And Blow Away, a melancholy collection of dark pop songs.

Another band who were vying for the new Fugazi crown was Bear vs. Shark. But they tempered that righteous post-punk anger with deft songwriting, indie-flavored instrumentation and a flexible singer. The last album before their breakup in 2005 was Terrorhawk, which includes the bass-driven "Entrance of The Elected".

Glassjaw were "the next Deftones." But then they broke up. Daryl Palumbo, lead singer, took his demos to the legendary Dan The Automator. Shortly thereafter, they emerged with the tracks that would eventually become the Head Automatica album Decadence. "Beating Heart Baby" is a fine example of the punk-tinged pop songs that came out of that pairing.

The Strokes ruled the indie world for about 2 years after the release of Room On Fire. Enjoy one of the finest tracks from Room, "You Talk Way Too Much" with its Television-via-Rick-Ocasek vibe.

I've talked extensively here about how awesome Kings of Leon are. You will just have to either take my word for it, or pick up a copy of Aha Shake Heartbreak, which contains "King of the Rodeo"

One of the earliest tapes I can remember making featured this propulsive Jimmy Eat World song, from the now classic Static Prevails album. I'm revisting "Call It In The Air" and it remains the ultimate emo prototype : math-rock guitars, strained vocals (with some overlapping sections and gang vocals) and deep lyrics.

The phrase "Moby ROCKS" gets a giggle of out some people. These are the same folks, mind you, who passed on M's 90s rock/metal album Animal Rights. When Hotel came out, I was enamoured with the stomping pop of "Raining Again". With some further listens, it still stands out among an album full of soon-to-be-classics.

I haven't seen AKACOD yet, but the surviving members of Morphine got together for a new take on Mark Sandman's "low rock" groove. Included on this tape is "So Many Ways" a perfect example of the sound and one of the groovier tracks on their final album The Night.

Who wants a downbeat ballad about Henry Lee Lucas, notorious American serial killer*? I do! From the brooding album Murder Ballads, here is "Henry Lee" by Aussie Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, featuring Brit PJ Harvey on the chorus.

Canadian rock band Hot Hot Heat put out one of the more exciting releases of 2005 with their 4th album Elevator. Their Elvis Costello-meets-XTC routine is polished thoroughly on tracks like "Dirty Mouth." (on a side note : what is it with Canadian bands on this tape?)

Travel back in time with me : early 90s, Slash records, someone listening to the acoustic punk of the Violent Femmes' self-titled debut says "Oh hell yeah!" "Prove My Love" was no doubt playing at that exact moment.

The last and most excellent of the Superdrag albums, Last Call for Vitriol, stands out as a gritty rock-n-roll spectacle, buttressed by John Davis' sandpaper vocals and gutterpunk guitars. The standout track "Drag Me Closer To You" shuffles along on its own boozy energy. Delicious.

As the first song on the second half of the madhouse opera that was The Ugly Organ, "Bloody Murder", by Omaha, NE's own Cursive, is a moving grueling stomp of a song - greatly enhanced no doubt by the crushing digital beats, violin stabs and cello accents.

Another mixtape classic, "No Love" by The Get-Up Kids is also proto-emo : whining teenage vocals, amateurish guitar playing and dynamic song arrangements. The album 4 Minute Mile is pretty much all like this.

Are songs about coming down from drugs supposed to sound this chill? Queens of the Stone Age know a thing or two about psychotropics (their first song on the album R is simply a list of their favorite drugs). "Into The Fade" is the stunningly mellow coda to an album full of punishing rock workouts. Until the chorus hits and the guitars go into overdrive. Stick around after the song fades out for a little treat.

I paid $10mil to talk to Xenu and all I got was this stupid CD

Sorry for the delay. This week, you'll be getting 2 mixes, just to make up for my "extended vacation"

The first, "I paid $10 mil to talk to Xenu..." takes a look at new fascinations and some new songs by old favorites.

Let's go!


I paid $10mil to talk to Xenu and all I got was this stupid CD



1. Tripl3fastaction - Revved Up
2. Saves The Day - Can't Stay The Same
3. Cursive - Hymns For The Heathen
4. Arctic Monkeys - The View From The Afternoon
5. Bonde do Roll - Tieta
6. The Most Serene Republic - Battle Hymn of the Republic
7. Hamell on Trial - Don't Kill
8. Tegan and Sara - Knife Going In
9. Mark Ronson - Stop Me
10. Happy Mondays - Kinky Afro
11. The Hives - Try It Again
12. Salt - Obsession
13. Cobra Starship - My Moves Are White (White Hot)
14. State and Madison - Circumstance
15. Say Anything - We Killed It
16. Piebald - Get Old or Die Trying
17. Sleater-Kinney - Modern Girl
18. The Mars Volta - Aberinkula
19. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Over and Over Again (Lost and Found)
20. Fischerspooner - We Need A War
21. Kenna - Sun Red Sky Blue
22. Electric Six - Down at McDonnelzz
23. Pavement - Date With Ikea
24. PJ Harvey - The Devil


DOWNLOAD HERE

The title came from a blog someone posted about Tom Cruise's Scientology video (I think it was RStevens, brains behind dieselsweeties...)

Some tracks on this mix come from the 90s and my old-school mixtapes - the first one is a prime example. Tripl3fastaction's album Broadcaster was a tapedeck staple in my high school tapes, the song "Revved Up" in particular with its rockin' dual-vocal chorus.

My friend Ken gave me a copy of Saves The Day's Through Being Cool back in our undergrad days and we've been listening to their emo-tastic pop-punk ever since. They keep getting stranger and stranger : on their latest album Under The Boards, they still bring the drama but they augment it with clearer hooks, tastier songs built around skilled players and far superior songwriting. 2nd best track on the album? "Can't Stay The Same"

The album Happy Hollow gets a fair amount of rotation at my house, with its Wizard of Oz allegories and vicious Fugazi-style polemics. Cursive used to sound like the second coming of Fugazi, but now they sound like their own thing, and we're all the better for it. Adding horns and stripping away the scream-o makes for tasty tracks like "Hymns For The Heathen"

I tend to avoid the hype machine, so when it spewed its guts over Brits The Arctic Monkeys, I said, "whateva." Then friend from the UK sent me a mix with them on it. I changed my mind immediately the moment I heard the hook to "The View From The Afternoon", which is the first song on Whatever People Say I Am That's What I'm Not. Cheeky bastards.

Brazilian bizarr-o music to move your booty to. Not exactly pop, not exactly electro, Bonde o Role have topped many critics' "Best of 2007" lists. Add me to that number. With Lasers is straight-up awesome. Want proof? Check out "Tieta"

The Most Serene Republic often live up to their name, but sometimes they bring the cling-clang noise. "Battle Hymn Of The Republic" comes from their newest record Population.

Ani DiFranco's labelmate Hamell on Trial makes concise little punk epics on his acoustic guitar. Yes, it's about as awesome as it sounds. The album Tough Love is full of songs like "Don't Kill" - a direct communique with Yahweh himself, asking "what part of 'thou shalt not kill don't ya understand?'"

Tegan and Sara released a new album, The Con, and are coming to St. Louis this spring. To celebrate, I added "Knife Going In" to this mix. If you don't know how awesome these two ladies are, you will soon.

Another critical darling that I approached with caution, Mark Ronson's album Version changed my concept of what a cover album could be (but, frankly, so did Cat Power's Covers Album and the recent Jukebox). Ronson's version of The Smiths "Stop Me (If You Think You've Heard This One Before", here called simply "Stop Me" replaces the sad-sack Morrissey act with a more Motown feel. Genius.

My friend and bandmate Ken keeps telling me about the Manchester scene in the 90s and that I would LOVE the Happy Mondays. For once, he was right. "Kinky Afro" is from their second album Pills N Thrills N Bellyaches and is more awesome than anything from the 90s has the right to be.

ALERT : The Hives are (one of) the BEST BAND(s) on the planet! The Black and White Album shows Howlin' Pete and company doing what they do best - laying down garage rock - as well as expanding outwards and trying new things, like the schoolgirl chanting of the chorus of "Try It Again"

Another 90s mixtape staple, Salt were always getting my friends confused. "Is this Veruca Salt?" "No, it's Salt"... and repeat. But their album Auscultate got fairly little radio play and they kinda fizzled out. Sad really, because songs like "Obsession" were truly rockin'.

Some people didn't care for Cobra Starship's second album Viva La Cobra! But if you've got a sense of humor, the desire to rock and the willingness to put up with some goofiness, you'll love it and songs like "My Moves Are White (White Hot That Is)".

My band The Orbz played with State and Madison and they were some really friendly awesome Chicagoans. Their record, Consider This A Confession, is really only an EP, but it's still great.


Say Anything just put out Max Bemis' senior thesis on Emo 499 : In Defense Of The Genre. It's backed up with singularly great songwriting and killer hooks. Study up, haters, songs like "We Killed It" are far and away better than most emo out there.

Piebald are just a bunch of goofy dudes writing goofy songs. While this may remind too many people of Presidents of the United States of America, it really works on albums like Accidental Gentlemen and songs like "Get Old or Die Trying." Plus, I really loved POTUSA...

Sleater-Kinney's swan song, the beautiful and angelic The Woods was the best way to go out as a band. "Modern Girl" is a genius track on an album full of genius tracks.


Most people don't think The Mars Volta are really mix tape material : their songs are too interconnected and 'out-there' to fit in. Usually I'd agree, but "Aberinkula" off the new album The Bedlam in Goliath is just too good not to include.

My friend Joe talked me into finally listening to Clap Your Hands Say Yeah and I was really impressed. The self-titled debut is packed with songs like "Over and Over Again (Lost and Found)" full of glockenspiel and warbly vocals.

Electroclash survivors Fischerspooner managed to escape intact from a rapildy imploding genre. Then they got Susan Sontag to write "We Need A War" for their second album Odyssey. Yes, the deceased author wrote a pop tune about war...

Kenna was supposed to be the "next big thing"... then his label delayed his first album, which may have cost him dearly. That's all behind him as he tries to be a hit again with the record Make Sure They See My Face, bringing with him bombastic tracks like "Sun Red Sky Blue". He's got a style that ranges between Bjork and modern rock, so give the guy a listen.

I thought joke bands were supposed to die off at some point. I guess Dick Valentine's Electric Six aren't a joke... Their 4th album in 4 years, I Shall Exterminate Everything Around Me That Restricts Me From Being The Master, is 1.) a really long title and 2.) pretty universally awesome.

Hooray for 90s indie rock! Pavement, being standard-bearers of the genre, are a current obsession - their album Brighten The Corners in particular. "Date with Ikea" is surprisingly current despite its age.

Lastly, I leave you with a spooky gem. PJ Harvey's new album White Chalk sounds like it was recorded 100 years ago in a haunted schoolhouse. All piano and spooky vibes, songs like "The Devil" bring palpable chills.

If Life Ain't Just A Joke, Then Why Are We Laughing?

If Life Ain't Just A Joke, Then Why Are We Laughing?

A fine collection of songs here. Though I used a picture from the upcoming Batman movie, The Dark Knight, this mix has little to nothing to do with the film. Though, the titular track, "Dead" by My Chemical Romance, has a vaguely Joker-ish flair to it.

DOWNLOAD HERE.

So, let's get to it, shall we?

1. The Hold Steady - Chips Ahoy!
2. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Phenomenon
3. A Perfect Circle - Weak & Powerless
4. The Dears - Who Are You, Protectors of the Earth?
5. Bear vs. Shark - Baraga Embankment
6. Elliott Smith - Son of Sam
7. Dieselboy - Dear John
8. Flogging Molly - Old Beggar's Bush
9. Superdrag - Remain Yr Strange
10. The Apples in Stereo - Do You Understand?
11. 2 Skinnee Js - Sugar & Candy
12. The Beatles - She Said She Said
13. My Chemical Romance - Dead!
14. David Bowie - Afraid
15. Courtney Love - Mono
16. A - Better Off With Him
17. Reggie & The Full Effect - Your Boyfriend Sucks
18. Sarge - A Torch
19. No Use For A Name - June 19
20. Piebald - Long Nights
21. Alkaline Trio - If We Never Go Inside
22. Spacehog - Space is the Place
23. Imarobot - Creeping Me Out

Quick and easy, cause I'm running out of time.

The Hold Steady rock in a way few people do. Buy their record, Boys and Girls In America, you won't regret it.

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs make fun, art-rock that doesn't sound pretentious. (Ok, maybe a little bit). Show Your Bones is endless fun.

A Perfect Circle = Tool - angsty maleness. 13th Step is underrated, and I don't know why.

The Dears are like Morrissey, if he joined an indie-rock band and was black. Gang of Losers is awesome, No Cities Left is way better.

Bear vs. Shark = Fugazi + At The Drive-In. RAAAR! Get Terrorhawk today!

If you don't own Figure 8 by Elliott Smith, you don't know what you're missing. "Son of Sam" is the most rock Elliott ever laid to tape.

Dieselboy, the sex-obsessed pop-punk group, not the hyperbolic DJ, wound up writing one of the better John Lennon tribute songs ever. Don't ask me, I have no idea how. From the album Sofa King Cool.

Flogging Molly are Irish, they love their roots and punk rock. It works wonders on Swagger and everything they've put out since.

This Superdrag song was written and sung by Rob Pollard of Guided by Voices. Might as well be a GBV song, since it sounds so similar. The rest of Last Call for Vitriol, except, "Baby Goes to 11" was actually written by the band proper.

Apples in Stereo are cotton candy for the ears! Velocity of Sound is their best record, so far.

Speaking of candy, 2 Skinnee Js rap about candy, contact lenses and hobos. Yes, this is par for the course for the album Volumizer.

The Beatles. 'Nuff said. Taken from Revolver, this trippy gem is dark as hell.

The aforementioned My Chemical Romance song, from Black Parade. Dark, twisted and a lot of fun to shout along with.

David Bowie has been getting better as the years go by. This track from Heathen proves it.

Courtney Love, on the other hand, continues to go downhill. "Mono" from her solo record America's Sweetheart is about the only good thing she's done since "Violet"

British band A (yes, the vowel) are hard to find on Google. But they're worth the search, especially their album Teen Dance Ordinance.

Reggie & The Full Effect is a emo "supergroup" - members come from The Get Up Kids, The New Amsterdams and others. The album Greatest Hits 1984-1987 is well worth the purchase, considering the re-release has the "Lord of the Bling" trilogy on it.

Sarge are no longer around, but their album A Glass Intact was a template for other women-fronted punk bands in the Midwest.

No Use For A Name are still around and still making soulful punk rock, which sounds like an oxymoron. Hard Rock Bottom came out to literally no notice whatsoever. It's a great record, though.

Piebald just finished touring with MC Chris. And if that's not enough nerd cred, one of the albums is called If It Wasn't For Venetian Blinds, It'd Be Curtains For Us All. This song comes from the record We're The Only Friends That We Have and is one of the best on there.

Alkaline Trio make dark punk music for the goth kid who hates Peter Murphy, but loves the Misfits. This song is from Good Mourning, still considered one of their better albums.

Spacehog got overlooked in the 90s because of their tasty jam "In The Meantime." People bought Resident Alien expecting more of the same and they didn't get it. Songs like "Space is the Place" really rock and can not be ignored.

Ima Robot make fun, drugged-out music that's funny and very often self-depricating (see the line, "Well, there must be a mistake / Girl, you're way too hot / You could make a million dollars with the face you got / Don't you know my last album was a flop?") Monument To The Masses is a slice of pure awesome.

whew. That still took forever.....

The Lonesome Electric Turkey Tapes (Part 1)

It was 14 years ago this Tuesday that the world lost one of the greater musicians of the 20th century, Frank Zappa. Today, Weekend Mix Tape offers up a slice of some of the better tracks from his many albums, entitled "The Lonesome Electric Turkey Tapes"

If you're new to FZ, or even if you're an FZ fanatic, enjoy the selections here. This collection is by no means comprehensive, but is a cross-section of albums the author enjoys.



The Lonesome Electric Turkey Tapes Part 1

1. I Could Be A Star Now!
2. My Guitar Wants to Kill Your Mama (Live)
3. Harry, You're A Beast
4. Baby Snakes
5. Uncle Remus
6. Keep It Greasy Part 1
7. Joe's Garage
8. Rudy Wants to Buy Yez A Drink
9. Suicide Chump
10. Titties And Beer (Baby Snakes Version)
11. St. Alphonzo's Pancake Breakfast
12. Father O'Blivion
13. Broken Hearts Are For Assholes
14. Who Needs The Peace Corps?
15. Cheap Thrills
16. Disco Boy (Live)
17. Absolutely Free
18. Dirty Love
19. City of Tiny Lites
20. The Groupie Routine
21. Dong Work For Yuda
22. Be In My Video
23. Bobby Brown Goes Down
24. Fembot In A Wet T-shirt
25. Lonesome Electric Turkey (edit)


We begin with a goofy bit of dialogue from Zappa's bizarre-o movie "200 Motels" where a member of Frank's backing band, The Mothers, laments his lack of fame.

First up, a delightful bit of rock entitled "My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama", the epitome of youthful rebellion and angsty teenage love. Ike Willis, as usual, on backup vocals gives this live version a bit more punch.

Next, a selection from the first FZ album I ever heard, We're Only In It For The Money. "Harry, You're A Beast" is a vicious swipe at proto-feminists and "American womanhood" in general. The backmasking on the last bit of the song was a fine bit of censorship, concealing the prayer of women everywhere. I'll let you figure out what they're really saying.

This version of "Baby Snakes" is taken from the soundtrack to the movie of the same name, instead of the album Sheik Yerbuti. I still don't know what the hell they're talking about, but rest assured that it's probably sex related - though why something sexual would follow the code of the Society of Motion Picture and Television Engineers (SMPTE) is beyond me. The inimitable future porn star Warren Cuccurullo is featured on high-pitched vocals.

Apostrophe is one of the greater mid-period Zappa records, featuring his biggest hit "Nanook Rubs It" and a ton of stellar songs, like this somber, piano-driven mid-tempo number, "Uncle Remus", which invites people to "[knock] the little jockeys off the rich peoples' lawns."

Sometimes FZ would go on a tangent that seemed almost irredeemable. In the case of Joe's Garage, a three-part rock opera that mocks totalitarian governments, small town "crew sluts", self-important musicians, wet t-shirt contests and all manner of other real-life phenomena. In the case of "Keep It Greasy," the second half of the song devolves into a 5 minute jam. While usually awesome, in this mix, I was pressed for time and didn't want to cut anything. So, the first 3 minutes of the song are presented here, minus the last 5.

Taken from the superior live album series You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore, this version of "Joe's Garage" cuts right to the heart of why the song is timeless - everyone has been in some dumb band, playing some dumb song that you think is the best thing in the world.

"Ruby Wants to Buy Yez A Drink" is yet another music industry stab, courtesy of the album Chunga's Revenge. Lead vocal duties here are filled by Mark Volman and Kaylan Howard, known as 'Flo & Eddie'. Which is actually short for 'The Phlorescent Leech & Eddie'. Don't ask me, I don't really know why.

Only FZ could make suicide, or suicide attempts, funny. Somehow, "Suicide Chump" from You Are What You Is, works. Featuring, once again, Ike Willis as the goofy stereotypical black singer, telling the lead vocalist that his pronunciation of "appropriate" is funny and goofing on the lyrics.

"Titties and Beer" was never recorded in a studio and every performance featured improvised dialogue. Taken from the soundtrack to the movie Baby Snakes, this concert version features drummer Terry Bozzio as the devil, asking Frank if he thinks he's bad enough to get into hell. Frank replies, "I have been it!I have seen it! It has happened to me! Remember, I was signed with Warner Brothers for eight fuckin' years!" One of the most bitter moments in Frank's feud with WB, and it stands as one of the best performances of this song (though the one on Zappa In New York is a touch funnier.)

The next two songs follow each other in sequential order on Apostrophe, making the first half almost a song suite. The songs "St. Alphonzo's Pancake Breakfast" and "Father O'Blivion" tell the tale of Church of St. Alphonzo, home of the finest pancakes in the town and home to Father Livion O'Blivion, head chef. And something about leprichauns, bingo cards, stealing butter, abusing sausage patties and Father O'Blivion's massive member, which "rip[s] right through his sock."

A trend that started happening as Zappa's touring schedule ramped up in the late 70s and early 80s was the use of live tracks as album material. One of the best songs to come out of this period, "Broken Hearts Are For Assholes", changed every night. So Frank set about recording the best version he could. What came out was this. From the album Sheik Yerbuti, this song is just ... vulgar. Somehow it goes from being a song about broken hearts to being about fisting. One of the funniest FZ songs on record.

Also from We're Only In It For The Money, "Who Needs The Peace Corps?" is one of the finer anti-hippie songs ever recorded, mocking "phony hippies" and the bourgeois kids who move to San Francisco and want to pretend at rebellion.

Somewhere along the line, Zappa got into Doo-Wop. Yes, it's as weird as it sounds. From the classic record Cruisin' With Rueben and the Jets, "Cheap Thrills" takes you back to the 50s, complete with thinly-veiled sexual material and "cretin simple" music.

I realize now that a lot of my favorite live tracks come from the soundtrack to Baby Snakes. It was, admittedly, the first Zappa movie I ever saw, so that probably has a lot to do with it. This version of "Disco Boy" includes an audience member yelling into Frank's microphone that "they stole my poodle from me!", referring to the opening of the show where FZ and crew explained the origins of the poodle. The song itself is a vicious dig on the disco music scene and the goobers who inhibited it.

Some saw We're Only In It For The Money as the flipside of The Beatles' Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, which it was, to an extent. But the rest of the album is actually just FZ and crew goofing on pop culture, the San Francisco scene and the world around them. "Absolutely Free" at first seems like a hippie anthem, but then it turns nasty. The song did teach me a new word, "discorporate", which means "to leave your body."

"Dirty Love" is another excuisite cut from Overnite Sensation, with its horrible double-entendres and it's mixed metaphors. "I'll ignore your cheap aroma and your Little Bo Peep diploma. I'll just put you in a coma with some dirty love". Ewww.

Adrian Belew returns again as the lead vocalist and bass player on "City of Tiny Lites" another from Sheik Yerbuti.

OK, the reason I put "The Groupie Routine" on here is pretty simple. It's funny. But it also showcases Frank's band and their willingness to do crazy/stupid things onstage to amuse the audience. Here, one of the members, playing a touring rock star, tries to convince another to sleep with him, only to be rebuffed. "We only like musicians for friends." There's no point to this, other than to show that the You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore records are pinnacles of musical improv.

Joe's Garage features the all-knowing voice of The Central Scrutinizer, a being from the future who warns the audience that music leads to big trouble. At this point in the story, the titular character Joe gets sent to jail for being a musician and meets Bald-Headed John, played on the record by Terry Bozzio, but based on the real-life speech patterns of one John Smothers. "Dong Work For Yuda" is full of these Smothers-isms, making it one of the funnier tracks on side 2 of the album.

If there's anyone qualified to bitch-slap hair metal bands for their ridiculous videos, it's FZ and crew. On this track from Them and Us, the singer of a band, presumably Angel, who FZ riffed on quite a bit, is imploring a Tawny Kittean-esque girl to "Be In My Video". The video as described in the song sounds exactly like the tripe that came out at the time - bondage, midgets, limousines, fake nuclear blasts and "danc[ing] the blues", whatever that means.

The epic tale of "Bobby Brown Goes Down", taken from Sheik Yerbuti, tells of an All-American boy who becomes an S&M fanatic. Ah, that old chestnut.

Joe's Garage takes aim at a lot of pop culture conventions, but one that never gets old is FZ's riffing on strip clubs and wet t-shirt contests. "Fembot In A Wet T-Shirt" is a hilarious and audacious track featuring Ike Willis singing about boobs and Frank as the MC at The Brasserie ("home of the tits").

Since I wanted the album to bookend nicely with the second volume, I decided to end this on an instrumental note. And, the titular track. "Lonesome Electric Turkey" is a swirling mess of guitars and keyboards, taken from the album Fillmore East 1971, easily one of the finer live performances of that time period. NOTE : The song does cut off about 30 seconds early, due to time constraints - the CD was too long, so cuts had to be made in the original file.


Watch this space for "Lonesome Electric Turkey Tapes Part 2" coming soon!